MY BARE WORD
D. A. Doudney.
Sunday Evening, December 28th, 1862.Â—I desire to note down before the Lord, of His tender mercy and compassion. In my recent trouble in connexion with the affliction of our dear child, one word has been much upon my heart, “Except ye see signs and wonders ye will not believe.” It has seemed to come to me in a way of loving rebuke, as though the Lord would say, “You want a sign in some visible improvement in the child’s health, or in the testimony of the Doctor. You want this in preference to taking my bare word.” Hence when I looked at the child, or judged from mere appearance, I became discouraged Â— my spirit sank within me; but, when I was enabled to look simply to the Lord, I was cheered and encouraged.
Â— The Doctor had said yesterday, that the dear child’s life hung in the balance; and last evening said, if she got through the night, and a few hours of this morning, he believed she would recover. I had arranged that if there appeared the slightest change for the worse, I was to be called. Towards morning I lay in great suspense, expecting every moment to be summoned to the sick-bed. At length from my weariness I fell asleep, and between the hours of seven and eight, awoke much refreshed with these words (which I had not thought of for weeks that I am aware of ) “He that is our God is the God of salvation; and unto GOD the Lord belong the issues from death.” Oh, what a blessed word it was. I felt assured that the child was better, and that she would not die. I went to her room with the full persuasion that I should find a favourable change; and so I did. She had undergone that change about an hour before; although several times during the night her dear Mamma and her kind nurse thought she was just passing away. What a blessed confirmation was this of the Lord’s divine testimony. I went to Church perfectly at ease, and went through the service with calmness and pleasure. When I returned the Doctor had been, and confirmed the opinion of a decided improvement in the child having taken place. “Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me bless his holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits.”
Wednesday Night, December 31st.Â—Since writing my last “note”, my dear child has been very ill. Sunday night, I think was her worstÂ—she was delirious nearly all night, and in a fearfully excited state. When the Doctor came on Thursday morning, he said, the complaint had gone from her throat to her brain; consequently he ordered her beautiful hair to be cut off, and for her to be kept in the most quiet state. She looked worse than ever, and scarcely the semblance of our own dear Marion was to be traced in her. Still it has been wonderful, that, though there appeared to be so little hope of her recovery, my mind was so sweetly and blessedly stayed upon the Lord. In consequence of the precious word He spoke to my heart on Sunday morning. I have scarcely since had qarticle of fear about the dear child’s getting better. I have been so enabled to fall back upon the word, that it has been a complete transfer of the weight from me to Himself! If doubts would seek to insinuate themselves, there has been that sweet word to plead. I felt and pleaded too, that Satan could not have applied it, for had the word been spoken by him, he could not have produced the uplifting of heart which I enjoyed. No scripture spoken by Satan can produce brokenness of heart, humility, and at the same time a simple looking to and leaning upon and a childlike hoping in and expecting from the Lord. This I have most sweetly and preciously enjoyed. It has indeed been a season of strengthening and refreshing from this Divine communication. May
the remembrance and the savour of it long abide. And now, through the tender mercy and unbounded faithfulness of my God, I am permitted to see the closing day and last evening of another year. Oh, how good and how gracious the Lord has been! What a merciful, what a faithful, what a tender Father and Friend! How did I feel the blessedness of the privilege on Sunday, in testifying to His power, love, and goodness, in calling the attention of the people in the morning to the all-important inquiry, “Have I been a wilderness to Israel, or a land of darkness?” and in the evening in testifying to the fact, that, “He hath done all things well.” Oh, yes, it was a blessed employ, and I felt I could stand and die for Him. It was glorious to stand forth in a bold declaration of His mercy, grace, power, and faithfulness. Oh, that the Lord would indulge me with much of this blessed fearlessness and holy rejoicing in Himself and His marvellous acts. Will the Lord now be pleased to go with us manifestively to our Midnight Meeting? May His presence and His power in a very special way be realized. May my heart be touched Â— my lips unsealed Â— and may a solemnity and a dew and a power be felt. Lord, grant it, for Christ’s sake. Amen and amen.