A SOLEMN WARNING
A poor old man named T—— had been regularly attending my cottage readings, when they were commenced (about two years ago): it always made my heart leap to see him take his seat in his own corner near the fire, and when the meeting was over I always stayed to have a parting word with (as I thought) the dear old pilgrim.
“Well, T——, how are you tonight?” I would say. “Why, Sir,”
was his general reply, “I trust my spiritual strength is renewed, and I thought it would be before I came.”
“What made you think your spiritual strength would be renewed tonight?” “Because, Sir, just as I was thinking about coming the Lord gave me a word.”
“What word?’ Of course it was always different, but sweet and appropriate. I remember one he mentioned, “He brought me into his banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.”
Some time ago, however, I lost my delight in his presence, and my confidence in his profession, from the news having reached me that he had lately sold a house, and yet was in the receipt of parish pay. Still he came to the meeting, and we generally had a word or two at the close of it; and oftentimes, I confess, I was led to believe either that the report was false, or that he was a child of God in error, and not a hypocrite.
About three weeks ago he was taken seriously ill; of course, immediately I heard of it I went to see him. He was certainly very ill, and the doctor gave no hopes of his recovery. I said, “How is it with your soul now?” “I hope my spiritual strength is renewed.”
“This, at any rate, is the time to test what foundation you are resting on.” He then said:—
” ‘Go worship at Immanuel’s feet, I do not remember more of this visit; but about the next day, as I came to see him, his friends told me that he had been in a terrible passion all the morning, charging them with drinking his brandy, etc. I went upstairs and spoke to him as usual. “How are you today?” “Well, Sir, I trust my spiritual strength is renewed.” “Now, T——,” I said, solemnly, “I cannot understand you. They have been telling me downstairs that you have been in a passion, and you say that your spiritual strength is renewed. You must be deluded! I know what it is to be irritable, and I also know that when flesh gains ground in any way, that the spiritual strength is rather lost than renewed.” He did not talk much, but I read and prayed with him that God would search him, and reveal to him his real state. Last Thursday evening as we were going to hold an open-air service a young woman brought me a request from him, that we would have a special prayer meeting for him, for he had deceived me, and deceived himself, and he was more going to hell than he was going to heaven. The young woman also told me that his distress and cries were such that no one scarcely could stay in the room. After the service, about eight o’clock, we prayed for him; I felt deeply the awful position in which he stood—dying fast, and, by his own confession, on the way to hell. I called to see him after, but he appeared to be very weary, and I did not much question him. On the next day I heard from his landlady that about eight o’clock on the preceding night he had become very quiet, and professed to have found peace. I knew nothing was too hard for the Lord, and could but thank Him for the hope that He had heard and answered our prayers. I saw him in the evening; his voice was very muffled, and I could not understand what he said. I begged him to say yes or no, then I would know what he meant. “Do you feel that your sins are pardoned?” He shook his head, and said, “No.” This is all I can say from personal observation. I called on Saturday morning, but, as one of our city missionaries was with him, I did not stay. In the evening, as I was going to our prayer meeting at the wooden church, a message came that he wished to see me, but as I did not anticipate so speedy a change, I did not give up my intention of going to the prayer meeting, and promised to see the poor man early in the morning. About eight oclock, however, the message was brought that he was gone. I went to his friends, and one I found was full of hopes that he was gone to rest, because in answer to a question twice repeated during the night, “Are you happy?” he said, “Yes.” But the others were very silent. He had confessed to them such continual deceit; going into other rooms and taking money out of the pockets; and just because, when offended, he did not choose to give vent to his passion in words, that he had cut up the wearing apparel of those living with him, and sat by, not only hearing others suspected and blamed, but giving sentence himself that they ought to be punished. As to his being happy, or saying he was happy at the last, although it may satisfy those who vainly hope that nearly everybody goes to heaven, it will not satisfy a child of God jealous for his Master’s glory; his intellect was, of course, weak, and Satan knows well how to blind his slaves. As to the peace he obtained whilst we were praying, I must say, that if his after-life had given evidence of it, I should have hoped that our gracious God had visited him in mercy; but as he told me he could not feel his sins were pardoned, and did not appear to be exercised about it, I conclude that it was an effort of nature, thinking we were praying for him gave comfort, and not the answer to our prayer. And as to the fear and distress which he felt on Thursday, we know that poor Judas ‘repented himselfÂ’, and yet was lost; if he had been wrung with agony on account of the dishonour which he had brought upon the cause of Jesus, it would have been different; but the bare fear of going to hell is nothing to build our hopes upon. For my own part, I feel it is a solemn warning. If knowledge of Scripture truth and Scripture expressions would save, he had H.W. 1860.
See in His face what wonders meet;
Earth is too narrow to express,
His worth. His glory, or His grace.
Nature to make His glories known,
Must mingle beauties not her own.’ ”
plenty; if attendance at a place of worship was of any avail, he was most regular; if an outside morality and apparently consistent walk and conversation could deceive the heart-searching God, then he would have hope; but the secret sins, the hidden love of revenge, and all the evil—the allowed, unjudged evil—of his heart was all known to God. Reader, may you and I never have the handwriting against us, “Thou art weighed in the balance and found wanting.”